Okay, so I've never been one for will power. I almost always fail at any diet I start. I have given up diet coke no less than 1000 times, only to take a sweet sip for a "special treat" and become miserably addicted once again. I'm not proud of that, but when it comes to my children, most of the time I try to do what's right. This includes feeding them fruits and veggies and giving my mom "the eye" when she slips in a chocolaty treat for them almost daily while visiting us. I really do try. All the best for my kids, right?
So when the doctor told me at their 18 month visit that it was time to get rid of the pacifier, I was determined to go home and get it done. I knew this would be difficult. If any of you know my Addie, her paci is her best friend. Allie could take it or leave it, but with twins, you can't give it to one and not the other. Since birth, my sweet girls have the dang paci strapped to them all hours of the day.
I knew that my MIL would be keeping the girls for a week while I was away in NYC, so I didn't want to get rid of it before then. I didn't want her to have to deal with the drama I was sure would ensue once we took it away.
When I got home, I let them finish the rest of the weekend with their paci and then on Sunday, we scheduled a "Paci Goodbye Party." This consisted of us throwing their paci's in the garbage can in front of them and then giving them something special to replace it (thank you internet for the wonderful idea)! My grandmother bought them some very sweet plush stuffed animals while we were in NY and I thought this would be the perfect replacement.
All was going great Sunday afternoon and surprisingly they went to bed without much fuss. Addie woke up and whined for a few minutes here and there Sunday night but it was nothing a little ignoring didn't fix. Monday morning, I had a renewed sense of determination and I was convinced this wasn't going to be as hard as I thought.
Then, it began. My sweet toddler turned into a screaming newborn baby in what seemed like 5 seconds flat. Hysterical crying at a very loud volume echoed through our walls for the better part of Monday morning. The only thing that took her mind off her paci was watching "Fresh Beat Band", so I played it over and over again.
Once it was time for nap, I was terrified. They had fallen asleep in the car on the way home from the grocery store and so I tried transferring them to the bed. Epic fail. No nap was to be had on Monday. A true April Fool's for mommy.
Still determined to not give in, I got them up and took them outside to play. Distraction. Distraction. Distraction.
Monday night, due to pure exhaustion they went to bed after a minor meltdown.
Again, I was convinced after an entire day, surely they would forget about the silly thing. No such luck! Tuesday morning made Monday morning look like a quiet lullaby compared to the loud rock concert of crying that was currently taking place.
Fortunately, they go to school on Tuesdays. When I dropped them off Addie was screaming and so I told their sweet teachers what we were going through. I advised them to call me if she didn't calm down. I never got a call. They said she had some minor "episodes" but was for the most part okay. I thought "phew", maybe we are getting somewhere.
As soon as we got in the car, the hysterical crying began again. I could feel my will power slowly slipping away. I imagined how I would feel if the thing I loved most for the last 18 months of my life was taken from me and the guilt began. I tried reminding myself over and over that this was good for her, but the wheels were turning.
We got home and I laid them down for nap. She began screaming to the point of hyperventilation. I sat for 10 min or so listening to my poor baby and finally just had enough. Screw the doctors! I walked in their bedroom, found the two pacifiers that I had saved and gave one to each of them. My sweet Addie yanked it from my hand, put it in her mouth, closed her eyes, and took a 2 hour nap.
In the peaceful 2 hours that followed I felt guilty, but realized that maybe somethings in life just have to wait. In a few months, we will try again. And as my mom pointed out, "you don't see kinder-gardeners walking around with paci's." She is implying that all kids develop on their on time table and I just need to trust my instincts. I'll take that advice and tell the doctors to shove it!
